söndag 24 augusti 2014

Witchhouse Mia Wallace



There is so much to do and time is scarce. I'm actually moving to Asia on Wednesday, believe it or not. Taipei (in Taiwan) will be my home town for the next 6-12 months. This is also why I haven't been posting much recently, there is just so much to plan, so many friends to say goodbye to, so much paper work to be done, all the clothes that need to be packed. I don't even want to start explaining the stress! But I'm very much looking forward to it. It'll be wonderful to get away from Europe for a while, which unfortunately seems to be going down the drain for the time being.
Oh, and I also got a haircut! Accidentally ended up looking like a punk/goth version of Mia Wallace, which I'm very happy with! Aaaand I put a piercing in my septum. There's just so much going on!

The bomber is from Topshop, pants from American Apparell and the bag is from Killstar. And the pins are from King Dude's merchshop. It's a nauthiz rune. The backpatch is from Poison Apple printshop.

And before I leave you for now, I've really fallen in love with the band Spiritualized recently. Just listen to this!

onsdag 6 augusti 2014

Pride and prejudice

No, not like the movie. Pride as in the Pride festival and parade, prejudice as in the prejudice against people outside of the norm.

So, last week was Pride week here in Stockholm. I couldn't really afford to attend any events or seminars, but I did walk in the parade! Here's what I wore as a first-timer in the parade, the non-gothest I've ever been. Behold:

Hello, I am captain Goldieboobs and my superpower is smiling idiotically until you let me grab your butt.
Anyway, what I looked like isn't really what I wanted to write about in this post.
I want to attempt to write about the insecurities surrounding sexuality from my own point of view.
When I was around 12 years old there was this girl that I used to hang out with a lot. And I really mean a lot, we were inseparable. I don't know how or when but at one point I realised that I had deeper feelings for her than just her being a great friend. It was like there was nothing else but us when we hung out. I don't know whether she felt the same or not and I don't think I ever will.
When high school started, we slipped apart. Much of it was my own fault - I think these feelings overwhelmed me and you were not supposed to fall in love with a girl, as a girl yourself.

In the 8th grade, when I was 14 I met my first boyfriend. It was a true love and I was very happy in that relationship. I became a Straight Girl™ and I was OK with that. I was okay with that for a very long time actually. It's easy and comfortable - society and the people around you all enforce the man-woman relationship as the norm and standard. But hey, enough about my relationship history for now. Let's move on.

The correct term for my sexuality would probably be bi-sexual but I don't feel comfortable using the term at all. Why? Because the media and the mainstream has completely hijacked the term and it no longer means "someone who is sexually attracted to/capable of falling in love with both sexes". The media and the mainstream tells you that bi-sexual means "someone handing out free-passes to party in their pants all day err'day". A bisexual's sexuality has run amok. They're sex-crazed people who are greedy and want to have the cake and eat it too. It doesn't even matter if they're in a relationship, they just can't handle themselves!

Me.
It seems that both straight and gay people alike hold the same prejudices against bisexuals, which makes it being very difficult to be honest and forward about it.
Let me make this clear: Bi-sexual=/=Polyamorous.

Therefore, I've chosen to call myself pansexual. Pansexuals can fall in love with any gender, be it binary or non-binary gender. Pansexuals fall in love regardless of sex. The key is good looks, personality and intellect. Nobody likes being put in a box and labeled. I don't want to play by the rules or be what people expect me to be. When it comes to love, you shouldn't have to.

Me and goldieshoes Tim (@r0xp0x) celebrating at the parade!
This might be the first part of a little series I'm planning to write. Any questions or thoughts, just send me a comment!

fredag 11 juli 2014

The fear of being a nobody


Today I'm going to write about something that has been with me since I was a kid - The fear of being a "nobody". Or, more accurately, being a "regular person". I've always known since I was around 6 or 8, when the grown ups around me started asking questions about what I wanted to be when I grow up, that I didn't want to be like them. Nothing in their lives interested me. I wasn't the kid who wanted to be a pilot, a doctor, an astronaut, a scientist, a sports-champ, a whathaveyou. I was only interested in being me, drawing and singing. As a kid, not knowing what I wanted to "be", naturally, didn't really bother me that much. I just got a little irritated when I got asked over and over again, having already replied "I don't know!". I just wanted to sing and draw.
I didn't really feel anxious about it until I was around 14-15. Around that age in Sweden, you're supposed to make a choice in what program you'll go to in what gymnasium (sort of a high-school with high emphasis on either workplace related practical learning OR academic related learning), and that's one of the first choices in your life that will have an impact (although small) on your adult life.
...Which honestly is really stupid, because asking a 15 year old (who barely knows themselves may I add) what they want to work with 10-20 years down the line...
Long story short, the only program I wanted to attend was the music and aesthetics program, which my parents didn't want me to go, because it was "hippie crap" and wouldn't get me a job in the future. I suppose I didn't help that I looked like this at the time:

So I ended up at a program focusing on photography and the media and switched after two years of disinterest and unattended classes to another school, where I studied what I originally wanted to do.

Today, as an adult, I'm just beginning to grasp what I want to "be". What I want to do. And that is doing something artistic. I've more and more come to the realisation that I will probably never "be" anything totally "proper", like a doctor is doctor and I've more or less made peace with that idea. Life isn't as black and white as some can make it seem, . It's okay to "not know". And it's okay to have dreams and ideas that aren't "proper" dreams. You'll manage to get by anyway, somehow. I do.

onsdag 2 juli 2014

Fantasy level: Low.


It seems I've lost all imagination for dressing casual. I have to wear a uniform to work, so whenever I'm free I like to dress comfy, so here's how that looks. Trying hard to maintain a certain level of fab!

I'm going to change the subject now; There's something that has been bothering me for quite a while.
It's about humour and being funny, and how that makes people feel about you.
I don't want to say I'm part of a certain clique or anything since I don't like to put labels on myself, but I do hang around with/or could be grouped with a certain kind of people. I like to call them "skogsgoth" (direct translation: forest-goth) and/or "black metal" people. I think I'm drawn in by the aesthetics of it all, the occult things that are all around that subculture.
My problem with it all is how serious everything has to be with these people. I feel like image is everything to these people and sure, to a certain extent, I care a lot about my image. All tough to me, that doesn't mean I can't act silly from time to time. Each and every time I post something that I feel is funny, wherever I might post it, I always feel like I get critiqued by this kind of people. It's starting to bug me.
I also have a problem with how they all seem to be afraid of new stuff within the genre - take black metal for an example.
Almost as soon as a new band pops up that gains a certain amount of fame, these backward people are all over it, condemning it's fame and talking about how "untrue" it is even though it has the right sound, while at the same time complaining about the scene dying. COME ON YOU GUYS. Either let the scene develop and renew itself (it wasn't all fantastic in the old days y'know) or let it rest and rot and die.
Sorry for being such a sourpuss. I just have a hard time understanding and dealing with these people.

torsdag 26 juni 2014

Working my ass off

I've been very busy lately. Summers are always very stressful and sleepless for me as I have to take a part-time job to make da moneyz. There's no school during june - july - augusti and therefore, no student loans for me. So I have a daytime job as a waitress at a hotel. And I have to wake up around 5AM because of it, since I am responsible for the breakfast there...
...Which sucks since everybody knows I am truly a vampire. 



This is also some work I do! Although this is much more fun. I love changing these old, beautiful coffeecups with these quirky little texts. I opened up an Etsy to sell these, as well as some prints (prints and other things will be up later) - Here's the link.

And here's a sweet note to end on - I'm getting a new tattoo!
This is what the studio (Speakeasy Tattooparlour) I go to looks like. It's so pretty, I could totally spend all day and night there. And yes, that's my book on the table. I'm currently reading Lestat by Anne Rice. Last summer I read Interview with the Vampire so I thought it would be appropriate to continue reading the series this summer. There's just something about summers that makes me want to read vampire novels!
Do you read any during the summer season? If so, what? Any good reads to tell me about?

onsdag 11 juni 2014

A storm's brewing

Today was a very gloomy day, at least the weather was. But it was rather warm and humid! I brought my good friend Jonas along on a walk out in the woods, not very far from where I live. I think it's rather funny that I live about 30mins outside Stockholm city and this is what it looks like. Sweden's tiny!

Lake Getaren.
This is actually the door to a wooden "kåta". You can sleep here if you want.
We found an abandoned house! Spooky.
Dress from youreyeslie, and the.. Chiffon.. Whatever you call it, is from Monki. I've really been rocking the witchbitch look lately, living up to my new years resolution!

torsdag 5 juni 2014

Satan's in the fields








I was at the King Dude in Stockholm 2/6. It was amazing. Then we all headed out for fireball shots and whiskey.